It happens all the time but still manages to irk me.  I am offended  when men dismiss their home bound wife’s work with ‘kuch nahin karti‘ ( does nothing! ). And since I practice in a small town where people More surprising still, is that women seemingly agree. Once I asked a women what she did all day  , and she said there was hardly any work since she had a gas connection and a hand pump in her house so she didn’t  need to carry water or tend  fire.  She just had to cook and look after the cattle. Further questions revealed that she was caring for three buffaloes, milking them, making cow dung  cakes and cooking for eight people. This apart from the scrubbing and washing, and taking care of the kids and elders in the family. Quite a lot of work for someone who claimed to do nothing

 International women’s day is celebrated to love and cherish, honour and protect women and make them feel special..  A day to love and cherish, honour and protect women and make them feel special. A day dedicated to women, so that the rest of the year can be dedicated to men!

It was initially called  the International Working Women’s Day,  to celebrate those women who were gainfully employed . Much later it was  realised that all women work, some in their homes, some outside . Some get paid , and some don’t, but they all work. So ‘working’  was removed from the title.  Gainful employment by definition means working consistently and getting paid for it. Not including home makers in this category  is like adding insult to injury.  First they are not paid for  what they do, and then because they are not paid they are labelled  a burden on society!

Consider this, to run the household  both partners work, one more , and for longer hours than the other , and yet one earns the title of the provider , while the other is provided for. Housework is the most underrated, unappreciated work in the world . There is no remuneration and  no holiday. You can’t call in  sick  and there is  no retirement plan. Only  love ,dedication and selflessness could make someone choose a career so mundane and thankless.  And yet home makers themselves, are apologetic about it.  

Even her urban counterpart has enough on her plate. A typical day would include  managing tantrums of maids and children, getting groceries, playing hostess and counsellor, nursing colds and heart break , substituting as  cook, cleaning  lady, driver and  teacher. And taking the fall for  anything that is not the way it should be.

The high society housewife   has her job cut out too. A lot of work and discipline is required to always look beautiful and in control , to appear interesting and interested,  to wear punishing foot wear and impractical dresses, to look happy and content. All to give a positive humane face to her husband’s enterprise.  No wonder  women  entrepreneurs are not as successful as men. They don’t have wives!

So from the petty, slum dwelling  home maker who skimps and saves to make ends meet to the lofty social butterfly who cuts ribbons and smiles through charity events, all women work. Yet, society doesn’t give home makers their due. More shocking is the fact that census clubs them with beggars and prisoners, as non productive citizens.

The job description of a ‘ non working woman’ doesn’t exist. Her job is never done. Anything and everything is expected from her and she usually complies . There is just one thing she never does.  Wear expensive silk saris and jewellery and put on lots of makeup before doing the dishes!! The media is also  to  blame for the way home makers are perceived . They are either portrayed as the ever smiling mothers, endlessly cooking and cleaning or the  good for nothing, gossip girls. Most  women belong to neither category,  they are simply human!

Women who have ‘real’ jobs, get the satisfaction of earning money, adulation and respect while their stay at  home sisters go through life unnoticed and unrewarded. It’s sad that  many  men realise their ‘non-working’ wife’s worth when her lawyer calculates the alimony and some  notice it when the courts refuse to compensate her accidental death because she was a dependant. This can  only change when home makers stop underselling  themselves  and demand  recognition  for their contribution to  society. It is time they understand that no one will value their services until they themselves do so.

But it shouldn’t come to this. Surely, there have to be ways to recognise  women for their role as nurturers, care givers and home makers. They shouldn’t be forced to put up boards declaring ‘Women at Work’ ! Almost a century after this day  was conceived as  International  ‘ Working’  Women’s day . Lets dedicate it to the  home bound ‘non working’ women who holds everything together and makes the world a better place without anyone , including herself, ever knowing. 

( published in my column in the Tribune on 6/3/2016)